The True Source of Confidence

The subject of confidence brings to mind a story that took place at a small martial arts school in Texas. Some of the senior belts and instructors were running some of the beginners through the material needed to pass their upcoming belt test.

One of the young students, he must have been 10 or 11, got up and took his turn doing the required form. When he finished, the senior belts and instructors showered him with applause and praise, touting his wonderful execution in all aspects (balance, concentration, power, focus, technique, etc.)

The problem with all of that was that the student who did the form did a horrible job. He had sloppy stances, weak technique, and half the time I couldn’t tell what move he was attempting. But, never, at any time, did any of the instructors stop to correct the young guy.

When I asked about it later, I was told that they didn’t like correcting students because it might have a negative impact on their confidence and self-esteem. So naturally my next question was something along the lines of, “Then how is he going to improve?” The answer was that improvement wasn’t really the important thing, the important thing was that the kids (all of them) didn’t feel bad.

I nodded. I disagreed, but what was I going to say? I was 19. It wasn’t my school. I was a guest.

I’ve thought about this many times throughout the years and I am no less frustrated today than I was then.

There is such a thing as false confidence. Confidence is gained by actually doing something, doing it well, and doing it repeatedly. Real confidence isn’t easily lost either. Confidence is not destroyed by correction and improvement, it is the result of diligent effort over time. When a student overcomes challenges, no matter how seemingly insignificant, confidence increases, whether it is simply remembering the name of a technique, doing three more push ups than you were able to do before, or executing a technique fast with power and balance.

False confidence, on the other hand, can be erased quickly, easily, and repeatedly. It is built on a faulty foundation and will not last when pressure is applied.

Real confidence is fire-tested and comes from diligent improvement over time. And that is what we strive for at Lockhart Mixed Martial Arts. We instill a real confidence because the students are expected to perform well every time they step on the mat, or enter the classroom, or enter the workplace.

It’s that real confidence that builds successful people.